Intro 3
Harvest on our farm has changed a lot since we first started. We haven’t always had a harvester to do most of the heavy potato lifting. Way back when, about ten years ago you would have seen my family and me out in the field with a two row harvester and a team of roughly 15 middle school kids. They were our harvester back then. We would show them how to pick and what types to pick from, and they would bring the full buckets over to the collection trailer to be marked down and get a fresh bucket. It was simple piece rate work. I’ll have to admit though, it brought out a wide variety of kids, all with some very different ideas of what work really was.
Intro 4
What was your first job like? What was your opinion of it? Each year during harvest my family would always have to hire a bunch of first timers to help us pick our potato and carrot crop. The majority of them were middle school aged, and not many had experience in the work place. And although a farm could be a fine place for you to set the stage for the work values you will hold for the rest of your life, not everyone that came acted like that. There were always a few shining stars and a few rotten eggs in each group, so we eventually learned how to deal with each of them, each in a different way.
Please see my comments on the outro. This has the huge problem of not putting the writer at the center, and instead addresses this imaginary 'you.' Forget that whole approach. Use I & me, tell us about your breakfast and your food choices. It's a slower and harder way to write than the 'you' writing, but it usually yields much better writing.
ReplyDeleteI replaced the two previous attempts with something much better I believe. All comments are appreciated.
ReplyDelete